Tears falling without crying

I don't vent much.. I keep so much inside. I smile on the outside while my heart/feelings are being shred to pieces on the inside.
I don't dare say anything, as if my feelings don't count... I get "yelled" at or pegged a "b*tch". So inside I keep all these lil hurts...
One day the bottle will be so full.. maybe it will run over, or maybe it will burst....
Keep smiling thru the hurt.. and smile the fake smile.

Fibromyalgia

Not a subject that many know about... or they just ignore because many think it  is "all in your head" or the favorite line, "But you don't look sick" .. It is a very real issue and I unfortunately am one of many who suffer from it. You may not even know what it feels like...I guess my story began somethinglike this...... I grew up on a farm and basically have stayed on the farmland (no longer farm, or raise animals 
frown emoticon ) Anyways, been married for 21 years as of July 2nd.. I have fibro, RSD (aka RSD Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, CRPS) , chronic fatigue,( doc added that diagnosis on the last visit.. oh yay!) I have a severe anxiety/panic disorder as well along with PTSD .. who knows what else.. ha.. Anyways.. My RSD and fibro was probably masked for years and I had no idea. Growing up, I lived on a farm, and as you know.. many mishaps happen. I think my path started with being knocked down by a dairy cow, not once, but twice , and both times, cows stepped on my each of my legs.I have alot of issues with lower leg pain because there is alot of scar tissue on both,, I also had a pitchfork go thru my foot, then my ankle.When I was 7 months pregnant, I fell down a flight of cement steps, causing a huge laceration in my leg, needing over 400 stitches. Somewhere during this time, I had the gastric bypass surgery.. I was then able after losing so much weight, to become an LPN for terminally Ill kids. During my nursing days, I have broken my ribs twice because baby in a crib had a blocked trachea.....I have had about 5 different surgeries, (kidney surgery, gastric bypass, pannilectomy (Large tissue mass removed from my body over 60 lb) c-section,gall bladder surgeries and a kidney stent (I think that's it.. lol)The doctors believe with the injuries I sustained as a kid (teen) and then the various surgeries ect.. have caused the Fibromyalgia and CRPS... I don't think I would have even heard of nor tried kratom if it wasn't for the sweetest person, Heather.. we have been friends for several years now, and made me promise, if she sent samples, that I would try it. The first day I tried it..... bawled and cried like I never have before. No pain whatsoever.. I'm hooked, no doubt. I was on Ultram 4 times a day.. I now have been off ultram for about 2 weeks.. except for when I took one yesterday (BAD MISTAKE!!!!) Kratom kicks any and all pain meds A$$!"Fibromyalgia causes you to ache all over. You may have symptoms of crippling fatigue -- even on arising. Specific tender points on the body may be painful to touch. You may experience disturbances in deep-level or restful sleep, and mood disturbances or depression.

Your muscles may feel like they have been overworked or pulled. They'll feel that way even without exercise or another cause. Sometimes, your muscles twitch, burn, or have deep stabbing pain.

Some patients with fibromyalgia have pain and achiness around the joints in the neck, shoulder, back, and hips. This makes it difficult for them to sleep or exercise. Other fibromyalgia symptoms include:

• Abdominal pain
• Chronic headaches
• Dryness in mouth, nose, and eyes
• Hypersensitivity to cold and/or heat
• Inability to concentrate (called "fibro fog")
• Incontinence
• Irritable bowel syndrome
• Numbness or tingling in the fingers and feet
• Stiffness

Source: http://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/guide/what-is-fibromyalgia

That doesn't even cover the icetip.. There are days, like this one that I just want to crawl in bed, because nothing seems to help... The doctors want to prescribe pain pills.. In all actuality, I HATE them .They work half-a$$ and you feel like a zombie apprentice in the zombie apocalypse.

Thank God, a very good, sweet angel friend of mine, introduced me to the world of Kratom. First off, before getting all your feathers in a ruffled fit.... EDUCATE YOURSELF.  No, not your friend, nor what you "heard".. yet researching this miraculous leaf.  Although today I am feeling crappy... Because of the rain and may have over-did myself yesterday... I know I am not feeling as bad as I COULD.  

Island Lion Herbals.. and it's owner Brian.. A GODSEND. Two day delivery and I can literally watch my package come to my mail box.. I can not express ENOUGH how Kratom has helped me... I can live again, I can be social, I am not always crying because there is no relief. I don't have to be in bed, praying for sleep so I can escape the pain. 

If you don't believe me.. search out  kratom" on social media sites .. a good one https://www.facebook.com/groups/WorldwideKratomForum/  Great people, willing to listen  and give answers... 

Chronic pain, even with pain meds that don't do the job, or make you tired, or god forbid addiction, is not something to take lightly. Want to know more? Or maybe try some? Go to https://islandlionherbals.com/?affiliates=50
 Send an email.. Heck send me an email..
An example of what kratom has done for me and my family.....

Those who know me and my family.. know how hard I have struggled with this... If in chronic pain, and want YOUR LIFE BACK.... Visit https://islandlionherbals.com/?affiliates=50